Camilla Sacre-Dallerup, life coach, hypnotherapist and author of Reinvent Me, reveals how to transform your life and become happier and healthier
Reinventing yourself, your career or your relationship takes commitment, focus and courage but it can be done. If you feel as though you’re in a rut, or are unhappy with a certain aspect of your life, take note of the following tips and advice.
By the time we decide to take action towards a reinvention, we have usually ignored how we feel and made excuses for quite some time. Things, as they say, often have to get really bad before they can get better. However, you don't have to wait until things are really bad – you can move forward before this, and the way to do it is to simply raise your awareness and allow yourself to notice your feelings. Listen to your instincts when they appear – that gut feeling can tell us a lot. Let that push you towards taking action. For example, notice when you start to feel demotivated going to work or when you start doubting your relationship. Ask yourself:
Sometimes taking action can be as absolute as quitting your job, dumping your partner or enrolling in a new course, other times in can be a more gradual transition where you start to research your options and possibilities before making a decision to change things. The key is to take that first step of action immediately, no matter how big or small it might be. Start by writing down three different things you can do over the next week. It could be making that dreaded phone call or having that conversation with your boss, speaking honestly with your partner or researching a new educational course online. I cannot stress the importance of actually taking action and how powerful the smallest steps can be. Sometimes the difference between something amazing happening and something never happening can be down to that one phone call or conversation you decided to make.
Having fear and doubts when venturing out into the unknown is common for all of us and it can block our journey if we let it. It’s so important to remember that fear is simply an emotion though, and just because we feel fearful or scared it doesn’t mean that we can’t or shouldn't do something. There is so much to be said for the sentence: “Feel the fear and do it anyway”. What I have learnt from experience is that it is dangerous to wait for the moment where you feel completely relaxed and confident about getting started because that may never happen. You could wait forever for the moment you feel fearless and inspired. Instead, remember that right on the other side of the fear, uncertainty and uncomfortableness is where opportunity and excitement lies.
Visualisation has been my go-to tool ever since I was 13 years old and my dancing coach taught me how to use the method. I have visualised a positive outcome of every major goal I have had, way before I ever achieved them. A simple way to try it is to sit in a quiet space for three minutes. Now imagine how you will feel once you have made the changes you are hoping to and visualise it happening. The more real you can make that experience in your mind the better. Somehow once we have imagined something, we are more committed to making it happen. Remember that visualisation doesn't have to come to you as images, sometimes it can be sounds or feelings. Try this quick yet powerful exercise to help you let go of your doubts and fears: 1. Sit somewhere where you can fully relax. 2. Close your eyes and imagine you are holding on to a string that is attached to a rather large balloon – make it any colour you like! 3. Now imagine sticking all of your fears and doubts onto that balloon. How does that look and feel to you? Imagine all of those words now attached to the balloon. Take a deep breath and then as you next exhale, let go of the string and let go of those worries.
In my new book I talk about the importance of the now. This is hugely significant as it’s so easy to put things off, especially when it’s something that’s slightly scary and out of our comfort zone. When I try to talk myself out of something or think: “That can wait”, I immediately ask myself: “But why wait until tomorrow if I can start today?” and then I crack on. It’s important to keep focused on the now when going through a transformation, as it can be overwhelming and there can be a million things to do and many new things to get used to. The stress we usually feel is often down to allowing our minds to race ahead to the future and worry about what needs to happen or what may or may not happen next week, next month or a year from now. When our thoughts are on the future rather than on the present it takes our energy away from the actions we need to take in this moment. Always keep a journal handy and keep writing down the things that you need to do in the future. Once you have written them down you clear them from your mind, keeping your headspace clear and focused on the things you are doing right now, leading you towards your successful reinvention.
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