Wishing yourself a Happy Valentine’s day
Even though 14th February has come to represent an opportunity for us to celebrate romantic relationships, I think it is also a wonderful opportunity to look at all the relationships in our lives.
What we all want in any relationship is love. It sounds simple but the more we end up searching for it, the more we can end up pushing it away. Yet if we open our heart and give ourselves unconditionally, love will flow into our life. My friend, author Mike George, expands on this in his book The 7 Myths about Love… Actually! (£8.99, O Books).
Mike says: “only by acts of selfless kindness, unconditional forgiveness and limitless compassion is love felt. Only by the intention to benefit ‘the other’ before the self, is love made real and realised.”
Sometimes this is easier said than done. Having been single for 20 years after a 20-year marriage, I’d say I am no expert on couple relationships. But I at least do recognise the patterns of projection, need and fear that inevitably leave a legacy of sorrow. Like many driven people, I move from a place of confidence and power to a place of over-sensitive concern, creating the very situation I am dreading. However I do believe that at this point in my life I am learning to hold back from my fears and listen to the other’s point of view.
I am a great believer in the strength of storytelling and in Mike’s book, he talks about the stories we create for ourselves: “Little do we realise that in the process of creating lots of little dramas with those who are apparently close to us, we are sabotaging our peace, suppressing our capacity to love and strangling our own contentment and joy.” Mike believes it is through meditation and contemplation that we can truly find happiness.
Sit quietly, relax and recall one of the people you consider closest to you. Bring their image into your mind and allow the history of that relationship to run its story a little. Watch the story, then stop it. See only that person in your mind and allow the image of their face to fade to a point of radiant light. Then, allow all the memories and images of your story to be sucked into that point of light, just as a black hole sucks in all surrounding light into itself, so all that is left is a beautiful, radiant light. Remind yourself that this is their true form and it is also your true form – you are both free of all that has gone before. Feel the freedom and the beauty of this ‘real’ connection that you now have with them – light intertwined with light. Practise this visualisation and notice the difference it makes to your capacity to be your true self in their company.
Join Lynne Franks’ women’s social networking site: seednetworkingforwomen.com
“It is through meditation and contemplation that we can truly find happiness”
MEDITATING WITH THE BRAHMA KUMARIS!
I first met the Brahma Kumaris nearly 20 years ago and found that they exuded a wonderful feeling of peace. They are the only women’s-led spiritual organisation in the world, they are committed to a life of purity and service and are quite unlike anyone else I have ever come across.
They are completely devoted to God, and in these modern chaotic times are a wonderful support to me and so many others.When I attend their meditation classes I feel my life force expand and go into balance. Their sweet hospitality, unconditional love and highly intelligent perspectives on human behaviour and the ego have given me enormous insights into my own patterns as well as my work with others.
I am fortunate to have met and interviewed Dadi Janki, their leader, on several occasions. I see how living the life of a yogi has given her wisdom and strength that I doubt I will ever come near to but she is my role model, spiritual teacher and mentor in every way.
To find out more about the Brahma Kumaris, visit http://www.bkwsu.org/uk
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