Jo woods on how to increase your self-love
An old Cherokee told his grandson the Tale of Two Wolves. “My son, there is a battle of two wolves inside us all. One of the wolves is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humanity, kindness, empathy and truth. The boy thought about it and asked his grandfather which wolf wins. The old man quietly replied. The one you feed…”
This month, I thought I would write about love. Specifically self-love, self-worth and self-esteem.
We read a lot about respecting and loving yourself on the internet and in the media. Every day there seems to be another relevant hashtag about self-love. You see programmes about it on the TV and hear countless conversations on the radio. A lot of the stuff is repetitive and faddy but the common backbone that resonates is that to have a complete and fulfilling life you must learn to love yourself first.
I think self-love comes from living in the moment. The mystic Sadhguru once told me: “The past is gone, the future has not arrived and so living in the moment is our best option. With this option, we then have two choices, to be happy or sad, to be positive or negative.”
People often think that self-love and self-esteem are one and the same. I’m not sure that’s true. I do think they support each other, but they differ in the way you view and treat yourself. To me, good selfesteem and self-worth comes from being proud of yourself and what you do. Self-love is an overall self-acceptance and love for yourself as a person no matter what your flaws are, and with that a desire to take great care of yourself. In this life of ours, it is good to learn how to love ourselves and, vitally, how to forgive.
Pure physics would suggest we cannot give others what we don’t have within. If you have never taken the time to love yourself, then it’s logical that you can’t give true, pure love to others.
It’s important to show love as well as say it. I’m lucky that my family and I feel comfy telling each other how much we love each other. There are many ways to show someone how much you love them – cooking for them, writing them notes, helping them.
When it comes to loving unconditionally, there really must be no conditions. Love doesn’t understand conditions. The emotional blackmail or ‘If you do this or that I will love you’ is simply toxic. To have self-worth or self-esteem means having a good opinion of yourself, an unshakeable faith in yourself to follow through and get things done. It’s feeling worthy of good things. It means you deserve happiness, health, wealth, success and love no matter what. Here are some ways to increase self-love:
Self care – Get enough sleep, eat healthy wholefoods, drink plenty of water, walk, run. Value yourself.
Healing Tools – Use emotional freedom technique (EFT). This is a healing tool for which you tap on different parts of your body while repeating an affirmation. It releases negative emotions.
Connect with yourself – Make time to connect with your inner spirit or your eternal self, through meditation, yoga or getting lost in an activity you love.
Feel emotions – Give yourself the space to feel emotions. If you feel irritated by something, try surrendering to the feeling and replacing it with love.
Be authentic – Respect your uniqueness and allow your authenticity to shine. Each one of us is one of a kind – there will never be another quite like you.
Be kind – Learn to empathise with others and root yourself. Start treating yourself like you would a friend or loved one.
Positive power – Swap negativity for positivity. Our minds are powerful. By just thinking positive thoughts you can change how you feel about yourself.
Live momentarily – Live and love in the moment. Remember, the past has gone, the future is not here – love yourself now.
So, let’s feed our self-love, raise our vibrations and spread love around the world!
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