Top psychologist Dr Nicola Davies introduces everyone’s go-to assistant Meet the people pleaser, the proverbial ‘doormat’ or pushover. Their deep-seated insecurity and low self-esteem make them very compliant and easy targets…
Dr Nicola Davies
Meet the people pleaser, the proverbial ‘doormat’ or pushover. Their deep-seated insecurity and low self-esteem make them very compliant and easy targets to use or abuse in relationships. Since they lack a solid sense of self-worth, they are always looking to attract favourable attention by easily complying with other people’s demands. They have six main characterstics:
When meeting, working or living with people pleasers, be on the lookout for the following:
It isn’t all bad, however:
So how do I deal with a people pleaser?
People pleasers will expect you to take the lead and make all the decisions in a relationship. Over time this can drain your resources, turning your former willingness to play the leading role into resentment. Trying to avoid them will be hurtful and could cause their already brittle sense of self to crumble. Like with most ingrained, inflexible personality patterns, the key to dealing with people pleasers is patience – and lots of it! Slowly allow the people pleasers in your life the space to assert themselves, express their own thoughts and feelings, and make autonomous decisions.
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