Is honesty always a good thing? What about relationships – is it really advisable to always be honest with our partners?
Dr Mark Atkinson
Is honesty always a good thing? What about relationships – is it really advisable to always be honest with our partners? There are a fair few people who would answer yes to both of these questions. Take Dr Brad Blanton. In his book Radical Honesty (£9.45, Sparrowhawk Publishing) he asserts that lying is the primary source of human stress and that being direct and honest with each other opens the doorway to intimacy and enlightenment.
Take a moment to reflect on how your life and relationships would change if you were absolutely radically honest all of the time. Pretty challenging stuff, especially for the British who are famously controlled in what they say! I, however, think Dr Blanton is onto something here. I have discovered in my own life that honesty is a vitally important foundation of a conscious and authentic life.
However, when it comes to being honest with others there are four important caveats that you ignore at your peril! The first is to speak from your mature adult self – not your emotionally regressed self. The second is to check in with your intentions before you speak. Ask: “Am I trying to hurt, control, demean or be superior to this person or am I speaking my heartfelt truth?” The third is to think of the consequences of what you are about to say: “Is what I am about to say for the higher good?” And the fourth is to speak respectfully – speak to them as you would want to be spoken to. Okay, this is easier said than done, and I do struggle sometimes, but it can transform and enrich your relationships in ways you would not imagine was possible. To dive deeper with this important subject take a look at my blog on my website.
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