Emma Cannon on the importance of how we relate to our mothers and other women
Recently, we have seen a surge in female empowerment and an uprising of the sisterhood. I believe that this has only been able to happen because the feminine energy in the world has begun to heal. For too long women have fought and competed against one another, and by doing so we have done ourselves a huge disservice.
A woman’s health and vitality is tied up in both her relationship with her mother and to other women. These relationships are a mirror to our emotional self and offer the greatest opportunity for healing. Our mother’s physical and emotional health during pregnancy and the early years of our lives impacts on every cell in our body. This forms the blueprint for our lives; for better or for worse, we are our mother’s daughters.
I grew up in a household of women. I was one of five sisters. Someone always had a period in our house. My mother told us that we five girls were the greatest achievements of her life, but at the same time hammering home in no uncertain terms that we were not to get ourselves pregnant. I, like many women, grew up confused about what being a woman and being fertile meant. The only cautionary tale we had about fertility was the teenage mum pushing her baby in a pram, excluded from school, life and any sort of a future. Being a woman was something to be overcome rather than celebrated.
I have spent the past 25 years listening to women’s stories and I have come to realise that we are all confused and conflicted about what makes us happy and fertile. Perhaps in striving for power or perfection we lost some precious ingredients – time, connection and meaning.
Along the way, I have learnt that collaboration is better than competition – that we have more fun when we do things together. I have learnt that, for all the giving and doing we as women do, sometimes being and receiving is OK, too. I have also learnt that our true nature is what I call ‘the fertile woman’: fruitful, prolific and abundant, and that is a precious powerful gift and to never, ever give away.
Despite, or perhaps because of, the importance of this dynamic, the relationship between mother and daughter can be a complex one of expectation, miscommunication, unmet needs and mirroring. Dysfunctions in our relationship with our mothers may also spill over into our relationship with other women in our lives.
Compassion towards each other is vital. Look below the surface and try to understand things from her view point.
Emma is an integrated women’s health expert, registered acupuncturist and author emmacannon.co.uk
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